i want to discribe about hummer2.hummer2 is a car. hammer2 is an american car and color is black.
but i saw many colors in internet, like red, yellow and brown. my father baught this car when iwas 8 years old. when i was 8 years old, i was in phillipines for 2 month.after i arrived korea, my father has a strange car.
that was a hummer . when i ride that car. i felt i'm just on the air. i can't hear strange sound of car.
and seat was so soft so i just fall a sleep in a car just a few minutes later.
hummer is a jeep. hummer's tires is bigger than ohers. i heard my father, each tire's selling 400000won.it's expensive! but hummer's design is like a handsome guy.that is reason why i discribe hummer.
Betty,
ReplyDeleteYour descriptive essay has an interesting topic. I wish that you had described the hummer better -- perhaps what it looks like inside and out. Writing about how you felt the first time you rode in it would have helped your essay as well.
In addition, your sentence about living in the Philippines in your first paragraph could have been weaved in better in your essay. Remember that an essay is like a chain link -- your ideas need to be connected. Each paragraph has to have one central idea. Watch out as well for grammatical and spelling errors.